


Exegesis

by Gray_Days



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-03
Updated: 2013-01-03
Packaged: 2017-11-23 12:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/621902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gray_Days/pseuds/Gray_Days
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave reads Rose's notebooks. He finds one or more poems of dubious nature.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exegesis

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 19:01 --

TG: so who is it  
TT: Pardon?  
TG: at the back of your wizard fanfiction or whatever  
TG: "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?  
TG: Yet such analogies are ill ascribed  
TG: And, nest'ling in the comfort of cliche,  
TG: My paean, in mundanity incised  
TG: Would do us both disservice. Very well.  
TG: I shall, instead, make no Shakespearean ode.  
TG: But then, how could aeolian verse tell  
TT: I see you've given up the pretense of a lack of interest in my creative writing endeavors.  
TG: no fuck you okay this is important  
TG: is it someone we don't know about or one of us?  
TG: oh my god its john isnt it  
TG: seriously if this is a fucking sonnet about the marine depths of johns limpid eyes or whatever im seriously gonna  
TG: i dont even know what im going to do but its gonna be fucking insane and rad as hell simultaneously  
TT: Some kind of flamboyant gymnastic maneuver off the handle?  
TG: yeah  
TG: some kind of fucking triple duplex twist back handspring  
TT: I don't think that's a thing.  
TG: tens across the board, the russian judge collapses weeping profusely  
TG: fuck you it is now i just made it a thing  
TT: Have you considered the likelihood that I wrote that sonnet for the sole purpose of misleading the person heretofore most likely to snoop into my private literature?  
TT: That there is, in fact, no "who" to whom it is dedicated?  
TG: honestly yes but one im too agitated by the possibility that you didnt to really think rationally right now and two the fact that you phrased that as a question is suspicious as all hell  
TT: Very well.  
TT: I wrote that sonnet for the sole purpose of misleading the person heretofore most likely to snoop into my private literature - that is, my mother, with whom I have an extensive and turbulent history of psychological warfare and one-upmanship, as I believe you well know.  
TT: It was a simple writing exercise with an ulterior motive replete with psychological implications that prove Herr Freud right once and for all.  
TT: Incidentally, I'm a little offended that you think I'd be so ignorant not to realise that the original Shakespearean sonnet was a subversion of the typical ode format as well.  
TT: My sincere efforts would be far more informed regarding their referent, I assure you.  
TG: holy run on sentence batman  
TT: My, Dave. I may blush.  
TG: but no see the fact that youre saying it like that now means basically nothing  
TG: how am i even supposed to know if youre telling the truth or not  
TT: Indeed. Regardless of my reply now, how are you to gauge its honesty?  
TT: Bwa ha ha.  
TG: fuck  
TT: You aren't the only one who can couch every facet of their life in veiled layers of dubious sincerity, Strider.  
TG: okay listen fine whatever  
TG: i dont need to deal with this snarky horseshit thing right now that doesnt even matter  
TT: And my being a flighty broad, don't forget.  
TG: yeah and that whatever  
TG: the point is  
TG: this shit is down to the wire okay  
TG: we are fuck deep in ass city and if we start getting caught up in this teen romance drama shit all the survival stuff is suddenly gonna get about difficulty rating squared  
TG: and if you hook up with one of us then the other two are suddenly gonna be out in the cold  
TG: stumbling along in the snow trying to get passerby to shill out for our shitty matches  
TG: or well engaging in sloppy bucktoothed makeouts or something i guess  
TG: or  
TG: wait  
TG: oh my god  
TG: me and jade  
TG: i didnt even think of that oh god okay look i am just not prepared to go through with this situation do you understand  
TT: You've missed a pairing.  
TT: What if my enigmatic paramour is Jade?  
TG: uh  
TT: ;)  
TG: what  
TG: holy shit though are you serious right now i seriously cant tell  
TT: Breathe, Dave.  
TG: no fuck you i do what i want and if i decide i want to stop breathing then call the mayor tell him to inscribe it in the books we are engraving this shit over city hall  
TT: That metaphor was more than usually mangled.  
TT: In any case, I can assure you that "teen romance drama" will not become an issue, at least from me. Regardless of the possible sincerity or insincerity of any of my hypothetical affections, I do not intend to take any action in that regard during the course of our game.  
TG: okay  
TG: fine  
TG: i can live with that i guess  
TG: now i guess i just have to figure out what to do with this apple juice  
TG: holy shit i am so thirsty and its like fucking staring at me from under its jaunty little green cap like a cheeky cockney orphan  
TT: Apple juice?


End file.
